News

Irish columnist gets digs in first

Tuesday 11th November 2008

Battle of the keyboards: The off-field banter between Irish and Kiwi journos begins!

We've all become used to Chris Rattue's relentless stream of drivel every time New Zealand go forth into the northern hemisphere, and we're all used to Stephen Jones' bouts of AB-baiting, but it seems Ireland has unearthed a new contender for the 'Written Banter of the Year' award.

Irish columnist Vincent Hogan tore into the All Blacks in an Irish Independent column on Tuesday naming them 'unpopular', blessing them with the 'gaiety of a gravedigger', and saying that 'seeing them get nailed is one of rugby's great redemptive offerings'.

The haka came in for derision as 'essentially, a leery war dance', with the scabby old wound of the 'spear tackle' on Brian O'Driscoll during the 2005 B&I Lions tour picked at and re-opened, suggesting it was retribution for BOD's response to the haka.

"Face up to it politely, as Brian O'Driscoll and the Lions did in '05, and chances are you're heading for the nearest casualty ward," it read.

"We're not ones to hold long-term grudges in these parts, but to hear Graham Henry refer to Keven Mealamu last week as a "special All Black in the way he conducts himself both on and off the field" was to wonder if the New Zealand coach was perhaps being purposefully mischievous."

It's gone down with a kind of measured indifference in New Zealand, where scribe Jim Kayes called the column 'at times accurate, often vitriolic and occasionally very witty.'

At least, that was the start. Later, Kayes went to considerable lengths to point out that Ireland had not won in 21 clashes between the two, crowed a little over the All Blacks' current world ranking, and went on to say that the Irish gave New Zealand too much respect on a rugby pitch.

"As Hogan admitted himself, when the All Blacks look at Ireland they see "lifelong losers", wrote Kayes

"What else is there to see? ...Ireland lost by 10 points in terrible conditions in Wellington in June, and were beaten by the same margin, and 11 points, when rotation was at its peak in 2006.

"When the All Blacks were last in Dublin they thrashed Ireland 45-7 with a starting XV that was completely different to the side that beat Wales 41-3.

"If that's a threat then U2 are an English boy-band."

A rather different criticism of Ireland, and Scotland for that matter, came from Gregor Paul, who likened his journey from Edinburgh to Dublin to an SAS recruitment test after Aer Lingus lost his plane ticket and he was forced to fly with Easyjet to Belfast and hire a car to drive south!

It can't be long before Chris Rattue emerges...